I think a worst a person can do is go through life bitter, and so this is what we have to do, adjust and grow up. Science calls it homeostasis. But what they don't realize is the emotional strain you have to withstand in this.
Besides the people here have been so good to me, how could I have been so non-responsive? I guess for a while I was stuck in some weird depression of this place. Out of nowhere it grabbed me and tightened it's grip on me.
Today it struck me that all the routines, laughter, and friendships are so familiar to me.
I knew this was going to happen sometime, this adjusting thing. I never expected it to come so soon, I'm not complaining believe me. It's sort of some comfort, or maybe just relief. Whatever it is, I hope it lasts.
I forget what it feels like to have a crush. But on Sunday I remembered, when I saw the guy I liked for the longest time ever. I know it's completely cheesy, but I fell in like with him like no other.
And on that Sunday, when I remembered, I regretted just a little. Everything he did, every word he said ended up behind and over me. I got through the days for some stupid boy, so come to think of it, that stupid boy kept me alive.
I don't know where I was going with this, it's just. whatever.
I know it was completely pathetic of me, and I don't know why girls let themselves get like this. And five stars for the girls who draw lines at a certain point. I've been training myself a bit to be more like that.
Today is Thursday and I am very excited for an oddball reason.
I'm so excited for next Thursday too, when Christine is getting ungrounded! Ha, go congratulate her or something. Buy her some tofu., I don't know.
ROB LOWE is in some new movie. Just saying.
Love Love Love,
i told you so,
ReplyDeletei miss you ):